Understanding recovery: Graeme Bonar
Not all Petes play hockey in the Patch for an extended period of time, nonetheless, their days cloaked in maroon and white remain meaningful, such as in Graeme Bonar’s case. The former right wing was drafted to Windsor in 1982 and spent two seasons with the Spitfires before being traded to the Sault St. Marie Greyhounds – a fierce rival of the maroon and white throughout the ’80s. He arrived in Peterborough in his final year of junior hockey, following a trade just ahead of the deadline and played 18 games as a Pete.
“I wasn’t there for a long time, but it was a memorable time because I was very familiar with the area,” explains Bonar.
To Bonar, the most memorable aspect of his transition to the Petes was the initial reunion between him and fellow bench “chirper,” Jeff Twohey.
“Before I knew Jeff, and you wouldn’t know it because he’s such a cool guy, very nonchalant, he used to be quite the chirper on the bench. When I played in the Soo especially, we used to chirp back and forth with each other when I played Peterborough. We would exchange words off and on. ”
OTD in @OHLHoundPower History March 12,1985, Wayne Groulx and Graeme Bonar each fired 5 goals in 11-3 win over @OHLRangers Jean Marc MacKenzie G. Hounds add to @OHLHockey record of 32 straight home ice wins. New OHL record for points @OHL_History @bobbywmurray @farwell_ohl pic.twitter.com/uBr6vxOq1K
— chris sierzputowski (@CskiChris) March 12, 2021
“I got traded to Peterborough, and I still remember it was a Saturday morning because I flew out of the Soo on Saturday and my parents picked me up. I opened the [Petes] dressing room door and the first person that was waiting for me with a great big smile on his face was Jeff Twohey. Our relationship started right there, I have a big smile on my face just thinking about it.”
Twohey and Bonar remain great friends today and even bumped into each other at an Ozzy Osbourne concert last year.
In 1984, Bonar was drafted to the Montreal Canadiens, a roster chock-full of talent, that included the likes of Guy Lafleur, Claude Lemieux, and Le Capitaine and Petes Alumnus Bob Gainey.
I remember being a 19 year old rookie and Bob Gainey was the captain of the Canadiens. I don’t know if he remembers this but I certainly do, he mentioned to me in the morning, my nickname was “bones” and he said, “Bones, what are you doing we are going to to meet at such and such a time to have a beer and wings. Being a 19 year old, that’s a memory you’re going to remember the rest of your life, because here I was with a future Hall of Famer.
Once Bonar wrapped up his time in the OHL, he moved onto the AHL and played for Montreal’s farm team, the Sherbrooke Canadiens. It was during his rookies season in a game against the Halifax Citadels, where Bonar faced a career-altering ankle injury.
“I tried to come back the next year and the ankle was just never the same, I had a broken wrist, I had a collarbone separation, but it was the ankle that really did me in.”
“At that particular time, I was pretty well done. I played in Baltimore on and off but it was me holding onto something that wasn’t really there so within about a year and a half I ran into some bad luck.”
Bonar would go on to play for a decade between the AHL and IHL, lacing up his skates for a handful of games each season. He represented Canada on the international stage in 1989 and wrapped up his playing career with the Brantford Smoke of the Colonial Hockey League in 1994 alongside Petes Head Coach, Rob Wilson.
“I was holding onto something because I still loved the game, but I was skating on one ankle, I was very fortunate I didn’t hurt myself even more.”
The sudden readjustment of identity and understanding of his place in the world sparked by the injury brought Bonar’s disease of addiction to the forefront.
“I suffer from this disease of addiction. I believe it is a disease and I used alcohol and painkillers to mask the pain physically in the beginning and in the end there were painkillers, alcohol, and there were a lot of things. I took to mask my feelings emotionally to try to cope with the pain that I was going through not just physically but where I was going in life.”
I didn’t know what I was going to do and I had a very promising career that ended very abruptly and I didn’t know who Graeme Bonar was. I basically pushed myself away from the people who loved me, and the people who cared for me. The thing about people living in active addiction, that person unless they want to change they are not going to change, and I wanted to but I was just afraid to.
In 1996, Bonar entered a 123-day program that tackled his addiction to narcotics, cocaine, and alcohol.
“I am very fortunate for where I am today, I had a lot of support and a lot of people in my life who cared for me and I have a lot of gratitude. I had to find out who I was. Hockey was over and I had to find out who I am.”
Today, Bonar uses his lived experience with addiction to support those who are facing the same challenges he battled throughout his 20’s as a case manager and addictions counsellor, specializing in trauma at Hope Place Center. Originally he entered the field with an abundance of personal experience that guided his practice, however at 50 years old, he returned to school and earned his social work degree from Humber College.
“I knew I was a good person, I was always well-liked. I had to find that in myself. I had to learn to love myself. Until you love yourself, you’re incapable of giving or receiving love.”
For those looking to better help the hockey player in their life with addiction, Bonar highlights the importance of being empathetic of the pressure and scrutiny these athletes undergo, and to know the greatest thing somebody can do have a conversation free from shame or fear of job loss with them.
Want to hear more about Bonar’s former teammate John Druce? Click here to learn more about Druce and his induction in the Peterborough & District sports Hall Of Fame.
